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» At the beginning of each mission, all undercover agents select an secret code name. From that point on, any communications they receive from AVU Headquarters will refer to them by that code name.
Dr. Wick, Platypus, Goons, and the Agent
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Dr. Eugene Wick, I.D.
*Note: This is the official autobiography of Dr. Wick, I.D. All other biographies, especially that one with the vicious rumor involving the llama, the nine iron, and the tater tots are strictly prohibited.|
Eugene Wick was born in Boring, Maryland, a rural town in the middle of nowhere. His father, Brutus, owned a general store. His financial advice, repeated over and over to little Eugene: "Keep all your money in a big potato sack, you fool. It's what my father did, and his father before him, and his father... we've been keeping our money in this sack for over 200 years." Little is known about his mother, Ida, beyond that she ran away to become a kelp farmer in Japan. What is known is that by age 3, Dr. Wick was well on his way to world domination.
"Little Genie-bear, as we used to call him," says his former babysitter, "used to love playing games like Capture the Flag or Four-Square with the other children in the neighborhood. Once, little Genie-bear tried to dig tiger pits under the other 3 squares so he could become the undisputed neighborhood champion. But the holes he dug were too shallow for the 1500-pound Bengal tigers, and they ended up terrorizing the whole neighborhood for a week! He was such a cute kid…always with the imagination!"
Unfortunately, Dr. Wick's school teachers seemed bent on ruining his original ideas. After stifling his plans to start a black market for frosted cupcakes, Dr. Wick was sent to Sergeant Serious' School for Sub-par Students, a boarding school for what he later referred to as "ruffians and hooligans — fools all." At Sergeant Serious', Dr. Wick's personal charm and infectious mottos — "Elect me, fools!" and "Wick for World Domination…and better food in the vending machines!" — easily won him the class presidency.
His first act was to disband the school and create Minor Trickery, a non-profit organization "For the improvement of all mankind (BY SUBMITTING TO ME)." Funds were "donated" by shaking the younger kids upside down and taking their lunch money. Under Dr. Wick's leadership, Minor Trickery tried to launch a series of bizarre inventions: an ice cream mailer, a paper crease remover, dancing monkey robot, etc. To his astonishment, each of these was a commercial flop. Not only were they of little interest to the public, but they also were fatally flawed. The dancing monkey robot, for instance, refused to dance unless it was fed 50 bananas per hour. Within 9 months, Minor Trickery was out of business, leaving Dr. Wick with no job and 5000 hungry dancing monkey robots.
Just as it appeared Eugene had failed completely, news came to him of an inheritance. His father passed away, leaving Eugene with the family potato sack…which contained hundreds of millions of dollars. The wheels in Eugene's mind began to turn, and by 1990, he pre-empted national television to announce that he had built a machine that could control the earth's weather. Going by the name "Dr. Wick" (although he never graduated from college), he threatened that any country that dared oppose his bid to become emperor of the world would be swamped with natural disasters.
Unfortunately, Dr. Wick's weather machine could only create mild, sunny days with a 30% chance of rain. The media had a field day and the Premier of Luxembourg began to taunt him publicly.
"My problem, you reporting fool," Dr. Wick declared in his semi-historic interview with Ted Koppel, "was that I wasn't thinking big enough. And wicked enough. Also maybe that dancing monkey robot thing wasn't such a good idea after all." Dr. Wick slid into obscurity once again, still plotting world domination with a smaller, but still sizeable, potato sack.
When he's not plotting for world domination, Dr. Wick enjoys amateur astronomy, model railroading, and playing with his pet tarantula, Muffin.
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Suffice it to say that Platypus is true to his genus and species (Ornithorhynchus anatinus). The original combo animal, a platypus has webbed feet and a bill like a duck, a tail like a beaver, and two layers of dense fur like a mink or fox. It lays eggs like a reptile or bird, but nurses its babies like the mammal it is. When European scientists first saw this creature, they came at it with a scissors, thinking it had to be a fake. The scissor marks can still be seen on the remains of this unfortunate platypus, preserved in the British Museum of Natural History.
| ||Not much is known about the enigmatic figure who's always at Dr. Wick's side. But it's not for lack of trying. High-priced private investigators have spent hours on the case-to no avail. But you'll never hear that from them. After all, their reputations are at stake.|
And it was one of the official mascots of the 2000 Sydney Olympics.
What to find out more? Check out these sites.
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| ||Every villain needs an enforcer — someone to do the dirty work to make the master plans happen. Dr. Wick has the Goons.|
No one is sure just how many Goons there actually are. They all seem to look the same, but Dr. Wick knows each of them — not by name, but by number. In fact, the only real difference between them seems to be that each of them has a unique like or talent — one likes peaches, another can juggle ping-pong balls with its mouth, etc.
The Goons don't say much and are fiercely loyal to Dr. Wick and Villainy Inc. Unfortunately, they aren't the brightest baddies on the block — the Goons follow orders to the letter, never considering what their bulky bodies or Dr. Wick's wacky plans are getting them into. Dr. Wick thinks this makes them perfect henchmen. The AVU knows this makes them easy targets for trickery.
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| ||Who's the Undercover Agent? Well, in this fast-paced world of evil and double dealings, you are. More precisely, anyone who decides to become involved in the adventure immediately becomes the mole, the double agent—working undercover from deep in the Villainy ranks to ultimately bring down Dr. Wick.|
But never fear. Your math skills will bring you unscathed through whatever Wick has planned.
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