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Drive-Through Deceit - Mission Script

SCENE 3

WICK
Spurious… Spurrrrious… (singing) Spurious… I just met a town called… oh, I like that sound of this town! Now then, it's time to start thinking like a Spurrrrrrrrious fast food manager! We've got to make sure those sheep are lined up at the door on opening day.

PLATYPUS
("Baaaa?")

WICK
No no no. There won't be any real sheep customers. The meat-eating ones went extinct a long time ago. We need something that'll grab people's attention…

PLATYPUS
(Murmurs an interjection)

WICK
What's that, Platypus? You have a plan? Alright, let's hear it.

PLATYPUS
("Lower the plan screen!")

(PLATYPUS gives the details of his plan.)

WICK
Wait a minute… how preposterous Platypus…… and where are you going to get that many penguins? And do you know how much tuxedo rental will cost?!

PLATYPUS
("No.")

WICK
You hadn't thought that far, now had you?

PLATYPUS
("Not really.")

WICK
It's a good thing the people really in charge here have their feet on the ground. Lower the emergency backup plan screen!

Part one of my two-step plan for fast food prosperity and world domination: coupons! Parents will do anything if they think it'll save them money.

I've come up with a bunch of wicked coupons that will cost those fools more than they save.

PLATYPUS
("Wicked?")

WICK
Yes, "wicked…" and I put the "wick" in "wicked." The only question is which of these will do the best job of robbing those fools of their money. I'm sure even you will be able to decide which of my brilliant ideas is the… uh, brilliantest.

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